This is absolutely crazy
Everyone around me made it seem
Like having a beautiful baby
Would be easier than I’d think
Don’t tell me that I waited
Too long, so it’s no surprise
To experience a miscarriage
You’re older and must try
To keep your positivity
Cast your dramatic emotions aside
You just need to keep trying
Forget science as the guide
But, what if it doesn’t happen?
Why must I share my pain?
Why must I answer questions
On why there’s no baby yet?
I’ve never felt more invaded
By random people asking me
If I’m sleeping with my husband
How the hell is this normalcy?
I shouldn’t have to tell you
The deep seeded fear I hold
Scared to be a terrible parent
Continue a cycle that I’m told
Is difficult to break away from
I’m scared I’ll be the worst
Unable to control my hormones
Some personality, not me, unfolds
Doubts aside, I study
I read, listen, and recite
How to enter motherhood
As someone worthy of a child
I remember I am in control
I am the one who holds the reigns
I’m the one who’ll make the difference
For a baby who cherishes my embrace
Motherhood is a blessing
But, its not a mandatory passage for life
I wish the world would stop judging
We don’t all wish for sleepless nights
Sarah Lopez 